ANONYMITY
©2004 Seth Horan, BMI

People will be pissed, I'm well aware. Whatever. This is the way I felt when I left, and it's the way I feel every time I come back to visit.

You're not a quitter just because you hate this chill
'Cause even Ani flies south for the winter, and Johnny's long gone to the Hollywood Hills.
You'll be bitter if you wait around here too long…
Watching all the ex-lovers and all the old friends, and recycling the same old song…

All alone among all these clones
Growing slower than I ever planned and hating standing still…

Never more than secondary; I could never stay
In a city meant for nothing more than anonymity.
Everyone's tomorrow looks the same as yesterday;
Never meant for any more than anonymity.
…and maybe it's better off that way.

Why dig if I can't reap what I sow?
I'm sick of planting my seeds in a battlefield where I've never seen anything grow.
Why live in a place no one wants to be
There's nothing left here to discover, and nobody here I'd want to discover me…

Never more than secondary; I could never stay
in a city meant for nothing more than anonymity.
Everyone's tomorrow looks the same as yesterday;
Living in a city meant for anonymity.

I wish my Motherland would someday simply understand that
she shouldn't eat her young.
I know she's been lonely ever since she went and she disowned her only
Prodigal Son…

Never more than secondary; I could never stay
in a city meant for nothing more than anonymity.
Everybody's days are filled with animosity
and never meant for any more than anonymity.

…and maybe they're all better off that way.

UNDERSTATEMENT
©2002 Seth Horan, BMI

  It speaks for itself, really. Might as well have been a diary entry on a day in late November...

 Albuquerque's cold this time of year...
or maybe it's just me; I'm finally learning about fear.
See, the road made me a gambler, and I'm quick to place my bets, and I've been hitting numbers; the kind I can't forget...
I tried to take some pride in it, but it's not what I do best
'Cause all it means is playing all these cards close to my chest, and I've been noticing one lucky number time and time again
And ignoring that it's not a bet a traveling man can win.

And so I'll understate my feelings for you; make you feel so small,
and understate the consequence of telling you at all.
Understate my love; I'll underestimate my fears...
When we make that statement understated everything we have just disappears.
Everything we have just disappears....

We woke up this morning so scared we couldn't feel...
See, we been doing what we can to hide these scars we can't conceal.
They don't run deep; they'll heal with time; we're not that bitter yet, I guess.
But it saddens me to know you understand my lonliness, and if heartache caused these scars to one as innocent as you, then yours will look like mine; you wait... you'll see what time can do...
And neither you nor I are as angelic as we claim, but in dealing with denying our emotions, we're the same...

Because you understate your feelings for me; make me feel so small,
and understate the consequence of telling me at all.
Understate your love; you underestimate your fears...
When we make that statement understated everything we have just disappears.

I know it's not fair to ask you to believe in me.
I'm not sure just what it is you think you see in me.
It scares me to believe there could be more for you and me, but it scares me most of all to think that you might agree.

Understate your feelings for me; make me feel so small,
and I'll underestimate the consequence of telling you at all.
Understate your love; I'll underestimate my fears...
When we make that statement understated everything we have just disappears.
What little we had just disappears....

The melodrama's over now and I won't be leaving sad. You're smiling again and that's beautiful, but I need your kiss so bad...
And we will still be comfortable next time I pass through here; at least
Albuquerque's warm this time of year.

EXPLANATION
©2003 Seth Horan, BMI

I am pretty sure that this is my first official FOLK song... (I mean, "Keep To Myself" is a folk song in premise, but not really in delivery...)
Written about how frustrating it is to see most of the people in the world going through life asleep on their feet,
willing to accept whatever is thrown at them, and how that is a REALLY BAD IDEA.
Oh, and I should mention that yes; I invented a word in this song:
"Misinformeducation" does not appear in any dictionaries I have checked thus far. I think it's pretty clear what it means though...

Am I wasting all my thoughts on trying to say something worthwhile
And trying to package it some way that makes you think about yourself?
Because if you knew where I come from, you would put my words on trial;
Then again, that's better far than if you'd put them on the shelf...

This world of degradation relies on your cooperation.
Try a new consideration; what you waiting for... ain't your life worth more?

You got to let it ricochet; their words are going to miss the mark...
They're trying to pull a power-play, but they're lacking bite and they lost their bark.
Any way you slice the explanation won't suffice
So Mother, may I come inside because the sky looks dark...

I'm hearing nothing but the buzzwords buzzing, causing everyone to think they're ill.
They seem to say "a nation on medication is a nation that's free"...
Well I'd try to offer chemistry class, but oh my God how could anyone pass;
What with all the misinformeducation in the mainstream?

At one time, every great mind has been denied the chance to shine,
And no one ever changed the world by accepting the way it was.
Even in music, they made the bassists stand in back and learn our places
But before that, the world was flat and the stars just revolved around us...

(chorus)

 

...catch.
©2003 Seth Horan, BMI

It's been astounding to me how many people have expressed interest in playing this song for a loved one they say they intend to marry.
Hey; nobody says the guy who WRITES the thing gets the happy ending…

If I had just one tiny lifetime to make everything seem worthwhile
I'd search high and low for the love of my life,
And waste not one breath in denial.
And that seems to be the way you choose to see,
But you sell short your beauty; your spirit; your mind.
You sell short your feelings as soon as you're hurt;
Safe to say that you'll soon sell yourself short on time.

How many reasons do you need to find?
Are you honestly happy this way?
What will it take to erase all this doubt from your mind?
How many times do you have to catch the bouquet?

And you're still the best thing going...
I'll tell you that knowing full well that you can tell what I can't disguise.
You're terrified of having things clarified
But I'd have the means to move mountains if you'd open your eyes.

You're still the best thing going
Always the best thing going
But I'm always going away…

How many times can you relearn to trust?
How many choices will you leave to fate?
No combination completes me like us.
How many times do you have to catch the bouquet?

HOME
©2003 Seth Horan, BMI

It's no secret that the nomadic lifestyle can wear a being down in all kinds of ways.
This was conceived on the loneliest night of my life at a truck stop somewhere in Arkansas.

Sometimes I weep; happens without warning
I can't sleep until three in the morning
And I reap the harvest of all the seeds that I've sown.

No home all year; I move from place to place
Haste to waste time as I'm displaced;
My track record keeps being erased;
I'm not exactly what you'd call "reality prone".

'Cause the only way I know to get to my goal
Is to sacrifice my psyche for the sake of my soul
And the fact is, "home" is more than just where you hang your hat.

Feel like a soldier; always transferring from station to station.
Always moving with impatience; no time to build relations
And it seems to be my sanity is the toll that it exacts…

Alone, adrift; between two oceans, losing depth.
Atone for sin; long forgotten, present still.
The phone could help with no connection; no concept of self.
Unnamed, unknown; constant motion, no concept of "home".

Can I come to grips with all the lips I've kissed and had to leave?
Is it better to dismiss, to tryst, or to deceive?
I can't believe the grief that feeds this life I've chosen.

Because the truck stop is warm; so unlike the van…
I loiter there for as long as I can.
On winter nights like these, just like my hands and feet,
My heart feels frozen.

Sometimes I weep; happens without warning
I can't sleep until three in the morning
And I should know by know the times I have don't ever last…

No home all year; I move from place to place.
My track record keeps being erased,
And I am getting way too used to getting nowhere fast…

SUNSET
©2004 Seth Horan, BMI

You know how two people who have genuine affinity for each other and communicate really well together
can still look at the same picture and see two totally different things?

Yeah. That sucks.

She said, "It's sort of like a sunset," with very little ceremony,
"Every day gets harder to keep hope alive."
And I'm glad I hadn't spoke yet; that I hadn't yet let slip the only
plan that I'd been hatching on my twenty-eight day drive…

Every day the candle in my hand kept burning brighter, and
Every day the sunlight in your sky kept dimming; chances slimming down
until there's almost nothing left of us to sing about…
But I won't blow this candle out.

I'm so upset that I have misspent these emotions I've been feeling,
And I don't think that I'll be feeling better very soon….
So I'll forget about commitment, and reacquaint myself with Dylan,
and it hits home; when you're a genius, you don't have to sing in tune…

'Cause every day the candle in my hand kept burning brighter, and
Every day the sunlight in your sky kept dimming; chances slimming down
until there's almost nothing left of us to sing about…
But I won't blow this candle out.

…and I don't want to be just temporary…

I'm not willing just to be a passing fling; a passing fancy…
Giving up is killing me, but mercy's not an option.

WORDS
©2000 Seth Horan, BMI

"Words" originally appeared on "...this is the session." It was dubbed "Your Best Tune, Dude; By Far..." by both Ed Toth and Joel Ackerson, so when the time came to record "Notwithstanding", we laid down tracks for a new version... and the tracks disappeared. Yes, it's true; "Notwithstanding" was always supposed to be a ten song album.... if you ever want to see David Peters' brow furrow, ask him about the day we lost that song. ...at any rate, Joel, Ed, and I always vowed that we WOULD re-record the song, and it WOULD make it to the next album. And it happened. Check the lyrics page for "...this is the session."

This song used to fly along at breakneck speed, and was written to vent frustration with my dealings with two families, one being my own. 
Over time, I've calmed down a bit and made changes in my life, and I've made changes to the song.
It sounds a lot different now; but woe be to me if any old 'bag.' fans let that old recording out...

I'm fair enough to show respect to all the views of another.
And I've seen enough to not expect others to show me the same.
She cares enough to keep the truth a little cleaner for her mother.
She gives her family just enough and we play our little game.
There's too much tension; seems it's always moving closer to me, and I won't be the one to tear apart her family, but...

Could you care enough to ever talk about reality?
Think if she's scared enough you can impose your own morality...
I must prepare to love what I hope I could never be,
'Cause I won't be the one who's got to tear apart her family.

She makes me think about a wound that it might hurt to uncover.
Five people struggling enough to keep the family sane.
I'm fair enough to never question the intent of my mother.
She gives the family just enough to never hear us complain.
There's too much tension; seems it's always moving closer to me, and I won't be the one to tear apart my family, but...

Could I care enough to try and win my blood's affinity?
If we could share enough to end this awkward, silent misery...
I want to understand the differences 'tween them and me, 'Cause I wont' be the one who's got to tear apart my family.

I won't tear apart my family.